Some people would use a new year event to find resolutions of their lives. This year, I don’t. I want to reflect. This year had given me a looooooooooootttttttttt of stories. Mostly about the lesson I’ve learned. About relationship, friendship, leadership and how to deal with such jerks.
And this is not resolution. Since I got a big blow in my life, I have found my resolution, to be a better, better and better person for every step that I take. This is my resolution, not only for the year, but for the whole time.
Yeah, 2010 was the struggling year, for me of course. I’ve been beaten, slapped, got a hit, crashed to the ground.
Well, somehow, maybe it is the price that I should pay. Somehow in the past, I did those shits too to some people and now, I get the reward. Maybe. I don’t know. But one thing, they make me stronger, stronger and stronger. They’ve opened my eyes to see the real world in front of me.
Anyway, I have to be stronger. This world has become so much cruel. Everybody wants to show up, they want people see them as the greatest ones. They don’t want to be underestimate, while they underestimate others. It won’t come to the end. Everybody’s out to get everyone else.
And me, I was left behind. I am still standing on my own stand. Nobody’s around. And I’m looking for someone to hold on.
Yes. I must confess I lost many people in my life last year. No, it’s not because they go away physically. They’re still here, on earth, some of them still stand beside me. But their hearts are not for me anymore. They left me. Maybe it’s because of my selfishness or other offend behaviors of mine. Who knows.
Well, I just spent the New Year Eve in the crowd of people. I did not know them. But they merged into one. Blowing their trumpets and cheering each other, hugging …
I never had any New Year Eve tradition. I used to spend the night at the office, looking at my monitor, waiting the traffic jam over and heading home. But last night, suddenly I wanted something else. You know, I wanted some cheering crowd, a happy circumstance. And I did it.
And somehow they eased me. With all that problems. And if today I have to face the same situation, whatever, it’s my life.
I just hope that I’ll be better, better and better person everyday. Trying to limit the hatred and even let them go away. Burn these burdens. Find some new people in my life. Having crazy adventures with people I’ve never known before. Sound like I’m dreaming. But there are always what I’m looking for and I’m still trying to find them.
And I starts this year with the same shits I’ve had for almost the last 7 years, at the office. Looking at the same *oops, I got new one actually* monitor, reading the news, trying to analyze them, figure out the problems, and finish the works. That’s all. Different year, same activity.
Well, I want something else of course.
And I have it, last night. 
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!!!
And thanks 2010 for teaching many lessons!
